How To Create a Tightly-Controlled Online Advertising Environment Poorly Disguised as a Social Network.

24 July 2006  •  Filed under ,

  1. Watch an episode of “That 70’s Show” that all the kids are watching, appropriate the name of Eric, Kelso, Fez & the gang’s favorite hangout and hope no one notices said appropriation.
  2. Make really bad typographic and color decisions for that ultra-successful “undesigned” look that’s going around.
  3. Create a fictional tween named “Ashley.”
  4. Include pictures of “Ashley” but don’t let anyone get a good look at her by offering larger views of the pics. The internet is full of dirty awful stalkers, you know.
  5. Have “Ashley” upload a “homemade” video where all she talks about are Walmart clothes.
  6. Let “Ashley” write a “blog” full of marketing-speak geared to appeal to the target demographic.
  7. Put the blog in an inline frame. Because accessibility and usability are for uncool, non-social people.
  8. Let “Ashley” upload hot jams!
  9. OMG, add some indie flair!
  10. Make sure your GIF images are poorly produced and ragged to project authenticity.

Tag and Note this hotness on Flickr.


Marco » 24 July 2006 #

Zefrank has offered his wry take on same here:

Hee haw!

Mat » 24 July 2006 #

The Hub? Very savvy.

Btw, fab title for an article Jared.

Hugh G. » 24 July 2006 #

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Carl » 25 July 2006 #

Truely sickening

Pierce » 25 July 2006 #

I don’t find this sickening as much as just plain weird. I would love to know their projected uptake on this as they go live. I’d also love to know actual uptake by real users. It’s just so strange, that they would think people would participate.

© Jared Christensen

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