Carte Blanche.

3 August 2006  •  Filed under ,

Hey, friend! Has this ever happened to you?

Client: “Hi there, Designer. How’s the new website coming?”
Designer: “Oh, just swell! I’ve added a big orange aquafied “Buy now!” button here on your homepage, set up your blog, given you RSS 2.0 syndication and enabled customer tagging on all your products. Not to mention the fact that I’ve used no less than 24 gradients, drop shadows on everything and big friendly fonts for that youthful, warm, feel-good vibe.”
Client: “Uh… you do remember that this is an Amish mortuary, right?”
Designer: grumble… “No one appreciates my art…”

Don’t you wish there was — oh, I don’t know — a card or something that you could pull out at such moments and in no uncertain terms establish that you know exactly what grieving widows and fatherless children are looking for in a web app?

Well now there is! Introducing the “Hi, I’m a web2.0 designr.” card! Constructed of high-quality PSD materials, this card is the perfect wallet-sized sidearm for any designer designr. Authoritatively declaring your mastery of rounded corners, drop shadows, gradients, glows, friendly fonts and The Web2.0 Filter, this card promises to establish your dominance and subdue even the hardiest filter-hater. Dude, reflections and the yellow fade are HOT, and they won’t take “no” for an answer. And now neither will you!

Download your card today! Simply open the PSD, insert your photo, print and sign. And the next time someone complains that your “Arrange for funeral proceedings” button looks “too much like a Skittle,” you extract that card and show them what’s what! ;)

» Download the “Hi, I’m a web2.0 designr” card (ZIP, 680 KB)

Update: So yeah, now there’s a Frickr group pool for this madness. Upload and add, folks.


Marco » 2 August 2006 #

I’d laugh if I didn’t resemble the remark so much…

Alan » 2 August 2006 #

Hahahaha. Very nice. Personally, I don’t have the patience or mastery of Photoshop for Web 2.0 design, so I stick with boxy CSS things. And dammit, I make it look good… ish.

Jared Christensen » 2 August 2006 #

Ah, it’s good to poke a bit of fun at oneself every once in a while… ;)

Patrick Haney » 2 August 2006 #

How funny. I think I may need to print this out, fill it out and keep a few copies on me at all times.

Now to get back to Aquafying my redesign.

Dale Cruse » 3 August 2006 #

Great stuff. But I think that before you insert your photo, you should convert it to vector art. You know, just to be cooler than the other cool designers.

Khalil » 3 August 2006 #

LOL I actually thought this was going somewhere til I reached the card LOL

Matt Brett » 3 August 2006 #

Gold! Needless to say, I should keep one on hand while I’m working on While it was entirely my intention to make that site as trendy and “web 2.0” as possible, it’s come back to bite me in the ass a few times already.

lm » 3 August 2006 #

I’ve printed out the card already because today I was busy for the few hours Aquafying my footer.

Nathan Smith » 3 August 2006 #

It’s the ultimate trump card, excellent. Now we just need some miscellany to print out on the opposite site. Perhaps a magnetic strip of some sorts would suffice.

Shawn Grimes » 3 August 2006 #

Good stuff Jared. Thanks for the laugh. I posted mine up on my flickr page.

Jeremy Johnson » 3 August 2006 #

Now it’s been uploaded to flickr and tagged, all that’s left is it needs to become viral!

my designr card

Adrian Kostrubiak » 3 August 2006 #


God that trendy “fashionable” Web 2.0 stuff bothers me.

LSW » 3 August 2006 #

Cute, I can see a whole line of these to cover Bouncy irritating graphics, JS cursor tails, Flash splash pages asking you to eneter after you did t get their in the forst place. Use of counters and clocks and other such Lemming Food. Sort oflike kids license plates for bikes – you can use these as Web Designer badges for every possible bad practice. snicker

You and I can go into partnership for Jurassic Web Designer 2.0 defined by my article on Jurassic Web design (

We can have them under every tree this Christmas!

LSW » 3 August 2006 #

PS – I did not want this considered Spam as it is not, just joking so pasted the URL in this manner.

Jared Christensen » 3 August 2006 #

No sweat, LSW.

Natalie » 3 August 2006 #

I’d love to see someone actually print some and hand them out.

Ritz » 3 August 2006 #

I am totally printing and laminating this bad boy. It’s going in next year’s SXSW badge…

Jared » 4 August 2006 #

Man, this beats my Myspace business card idea.

Kevin Navia » 4 August 2006 #

Hahah! Great work on this! Will ad this to my office ID badge!

Pierce » 4 August 2006 #

Great idea, but I’m trying to see why the Amish would want a website for anything, let alone a mortuary.

Greg Willson » 4 August 2006 #

Wow…this is incredibly awesome and deinitely needed. Yes.

Hairymop » 4 August 2006 #

Pierce, didn’t you know? The Internet is HUGE in the Amish community. There’s’s wagon trader, blogs about ploughing and of course all Amish folks are web2.0 maniac designrs!

Jared, 2 words – ‘Awesome!’

Natalie » 4 August 2006 #

Electricity and telephones are one thing, but the internet? Only hard core Amish can live without the web.

James John Malcolm (AkaXakA) » 4 August 2006 #

Finally some standardisation on the web2.0 accreditation front!

Marko Mihelcic » 4 August 2006 #

Awesome :D

arnet » 5 August 2006 #

there ’s a problem when i try to download the data… the zip it’s empty

pip » 5 August 2006 #

thanks photoshop and thanks jaredigital :)

stanley » 6 August 2006 #

nice article, thanks.

Martin Smith » 7 August 2006 #

That is fan-tastic! It’s going around my neck and being worn with pride!

Dave » 7 August 2006 #

One should have to test for this… like a license! The Amish mortuary, damn funny.

Carina Malmgren » 18 August 2006 #

Dave’s got a point, maybe one should have a license. Or just a aquafied show off card


Nicholas Helke » 26 August 2006 #

Great job but I’m not sure if I’m worthy yet.

I’m well on my way though and will post my card on flickr when I finally upload the updated CSS for my blog and earn the title. Although strictly speaking, I already master the qualities referenced on the card.

Birgit » 7 September 2006 #

hey, how about adding a back side for the tag cloud ? ;)

© Jared Christensen

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