Thursday October 7, 2004

Stop The Presses! Another Website Has Been Redesigned.

In an astounding display of originality, Jaredigital.com has been redesigned from the ground up. The initial upload actually took place on Tuesday, October 5th, but emails to CNN.com and Slashdot were delayed until all of the webpages had been placed online. Site owner and designer Jared Christensen remarked, “A website redesign is such a rare and unique event in the web community. We, meaning I, didn’t want to announce the completion of this redesign until all our ducks were in a row. We do this for the kids, and disappointing them is just not an option.”

When asked about the reason for the redesign, Christensen replied, “We built the old website back in 1982 with an Etch-A-Sketch, a car battery, 2 sticks and a pack of Juicy Fruit. Needless to say, the site needed to be brought up to code or we were going to get some seriously vicious warning stares from internet patriarchs like Al Gore.”

The new website features a revolutionary new technology called “CSS”, which is reportedly short for Cryogenic Secret Sauce. This “secret sauce”, when paired with XHTML (eXcellent Hypertext Markup Lingo) allows the same website to be viewed in all internet-enabled devices while adhering to correct markup principles.

“I’m proud of this new chapter in Jaredigital.com history,” says Christensen as he opens the door of his 2004 Maserati. “I’m just a humble guy with a humble website. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it.”


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