Thursday August 3, 2006

Carte Blanche.

Hey, friend! Has this ever happened to you?

Client: “Hi there, Designer. How’s the new website coming?”
Designer: “Oh, just swell! I’ve added a big orange aquafied “Buy now!” button here on your homepage, set up your blog, given you RSS 2.0 syndication and enabled customer tagging on all your products. Not to mention the fact that I’ve used no less than 24 gradients, drop shadows on everything and big friendly fonts for that youthful, warm, feel-good vibe.”
Client: “Uh… you do remember that this is an Amish mortuary, right?”
Designer: grumble… “No one appreciates my art…”

Don’t you wish there was — oh, I don’t know — a card or something that you could pull out at such moments and in no uncertain terms establish that you know exactly what grieving widows and fatherless children are looking for in a web app?

Well now there is! Introducing the “Hi, I’m a web2.0 designr.” card! Constructed of high-quality PSD materials, this card is the perfect wallet-sized sidearm for any designer designr. Authoritatively declaring your mastery of rounded corners, drop shadows, gradients, glows, friendly fonts and The Web2.0 Filter, this card promises to establish your dominance and subdue even the hardiest filter-hater. Dude, reflections and the yellow fade are HOT, and they won’t take “no” for an answer. And now neither will you!

Download your card today! Simply open the PSD, insert your photo, print and sign. And the next time someone complains that your “Arrange for funeral proceedings” button looks “too much like a Skittle,” you extract that card and show them what’s what! ;)

» Download the “Hi, I’m a web2.0 designr” card (ZIP, 680 KB)

Update: So yeah, now there’s a Frickr group pool for this madness. Upload and add, folks.


Marco » 5527 days ago #

I’d laugh if I didn’t resemble the remark so much…

Alan » 5527 days ago #

Hahahaha. Very nice. Personally, I don’t have the patience or mastery of Photoshop for Web 2.0 design, so I stick with boxy CSS things. And dammit, I make it look good… ish.

Jared Christensen » 5527 days ago #

Ah, it’s good to poke a bit of fun at oneself every once in a while… ;)

Patrick Haney » 5527 days ago #

How funny. I think I may need to print this out, fill it out and keep a few copies on me at all times.

Now to get back to Aquafying my redesign.

Dale Cruse » 5526 days ago #

Great stuff. But I think that before you insert your photo, you should convert it to vector art. You know, just to be cooler than the other cool designers.

Khalil » 5526 days ago #

LOL I actually thought this was going somewhere til I reached the card LOL

Matt Brett » 5526 days ago #

Gold! Needless to say, I should keep one on hand while I’m working on While it was entirely my intention to make that site as trendy and “web 2.0” as possible, it’s come back to bite me in the ass a few times already.

lm » 5526 days ago #

I’ve printed out the card already because today I was busy for the few hours Aquafying my footer.

Nathan Smith » 5526 days ago #

It’s the ultimate trump card, excellent. Now we just need some miscellany to print out on the opposite site. Perhaps a magnetic strip of some sorts would suffice.

Shawn Grimes » 5526 days ago #

Good stuff Jared. Thanks for the laugh. I posted mine up on my flickr page.

Jeremy Johnson » 5526 days ago #

Now it’s been uploaded to flickr and tagged, all that’s left is it needs to become viral!

my designr card

Adrian Kostrubiak » 5526 days ago #


God that trendy “fashionable” Web 2.0 stuff bothers me.

LSW » 5526 days ago #

Cute, I can see a whole line of these to cover Bouncy irritating graphics, JS cursor tails, Flash splash pages asking you to eneter after you did t get their in the forst place. Use of counters and clocks and other such Lemming Food. Sort oflike kids license plates for bikes – you can use these as Web Designer badges for every possible bad practice. snicker

You and I can go into partnership for Jurassic Web Designer 2.0 defined by my article on Jurassic Web design (

We can have them under every tree this Christmas!

LSW » 5526 days ago #

PS – I did not want this considered Spam as it is not, just joking so pasted the URL in this manner.

Jared Christensen » 5526 days ago #

No sweat, LSW.

Natalie » 5526 days ago #

I’d love to see someone actually print some and hand them out.

Ritz » 5526 days ago #

I am totally printing and laminating this bad boy. It’s going in next year’s SXSW badge…

Jared » 5526 days ago #

Man, this beats my Myspace business card idea.

Kevin Navia » 5526 days ago #

Hahah! Great work on this! Will ad this to my office ID badge!

Pierce » 5526 days ago #

Great idea, but I’m trying to see why the Amish would want a website for anything, let alone a mortuary.

Greg Willson » 5525 days ago #

Wow…this is incredibly awesome and deinitely needed. Yes.

Hairymop » 5525 days ago #

Pierce, didn’t you know? The Internet is HUGE in the Amish community. There’s’s wagon trader, blogs about ploughing and of course all Amish folks are web2.0 maniac designrs!

Jared, 2 words – ‘Awesome!’

Natalie » 5525 days ago #

Electricity and telephones are one thing, but the internet? Only hard core Amish can live without the web.

James John Malcolm (AkaXakA) » 5525 days ago #

Finally some standardisation on the web2.0 accreditation front!

Marko Mihelcic » 5525 days ago #

Awesome :D

arnet » 5524 days ago #

there ’s a problem when i try to download the data… the zip it’s empty

pip » 5524 days ago #

thanks photoshop and thanks jaredigital :)

stanley » 5523 days ago #

nice article, thanks.

Martin Smith » 5522 days ago #

That is fan-tastic! It’s going around my neck and being worn with pride!

Dave » 5522 days ago #

One should have to test for this… like a license! The Amish mortuary, damn funny.

Carina Malmgren » 5511 days ago #

Dave’s got a point, maybe one should have a license. Or just a aquafied show off card


Nicholas Helke » 5503 days ago #

Great job but I’m not sure if I’m worthy yet.

I’m well on my way though and will post my card on flickr when I finally upload the updated CSS for my blog and earn the title. Although strictly speaking, I already master the qualities referenced on the card.

Birgit » 5491 days ago #

hey, how about adding a back side for the tag cloud ? ;)

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