Sunday January 25, 2009

A Suggested TV Commercial Script for Tobacco Lobbyists.

Guys, this meme has been working wonders for the high fructose corn syrup cause. Maybe it’ll help take the heat off you, too.

[Scene: a youthful couple is enjoying a picnic on a sunny day in the park.]

Mary: Hey, John. Would you like to take a drag off my cigarette?

John [ignorantly]: What, are you trying to kill me?

Mary [recoiling at John’s insanity]: What? No! It’s just a cigarette.

John [like a putz]: Yeah, and you know what they say about cigarettes…

Mary [bravely standing up for what she believes in]: Why no, John. I don’t. What do they say about cigarettes?

John: [stammering like the idiot he is]: Um.. well, that… um.. you know… erm…

Mary [gloating in her own superior intellect and John’s abject stupidity]: What? That they’re made from all-natural tobacco, farmed in rich American™ soil and rolled in quality paper products?

John [his crooked smile and nervous laugh admitting his general ignorance]: Um, I guess so. [laughs] Sure, Mary. I’d love to take a deep, pleasurable drag of that smooth American tobacco.

[Fin]

Commentary


Jeff Adams » 3127 days ago #

That is totally fantastic. I’ve never seen that corn syrup commercial before. You gotta love advertising.

Abel Rios » 3126 days ago #

I just bought a carton because of this post.

Jason Beaird » 3126 days ago #

I look forward to telling my grand kids someday how I remember when they used to allow people to eat food containing corn syrup in restaurants and public buildings.

Jared Christensen » 3126 days ago #

@Abel – FAIL

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