Guys, this meme has been working wonders for the high fructose corn syrup cause. Maybe it’ll help take the heat off you, too.
[Scene: a youthful couple is enjoying a picnic on a sunny day in the park.]
Mary: Hey, John. Would you like to take a drag off my cigarette?
John [ignorantly]: What, are you trying to kill me?
Mary [recoiling at John’s insanity]: What? No! It’s just a cigarette.
John [like a putz]: Yeah, and you know what they say about cigarettes…
Mary [bravely standing up for what she believes in]: Why no, John. I don’t. What do they say about cigarettes?
John: [stammering like the idiot he is]: Um.. well, that… um.. you know… erm…
Mary [gloating in her own superior intellect and John’s abject stupidity]: What? That they’re made from all-natural tobacco, farmed in rich American™ soil and rolled in quality paper products?
John [his crooked smile and nervous laugh admitting his general ignorance]: Um, I guess so. [laughs] Sure, Mary. I’d love to take a deep, pleasurable drag of that smooth American tobacco.